This city is in need of a high quality signage makeover


Signage is something that should be considered before opening your small business

This city is beautiful, in its own way, but there are many who want to make it better. If you are a small business owner, or even a home business owner, you might greatly benefit from a signage makeover, or even just a few hints and tips.

Signage is one of the most important parts of getting a new business off to a good start. If you can show the world your style, your brand and your image you are much more likely to receive greater traffic when you open the store. This is important we yo first open, as the first 12 months of a small business are make or break.

Image is important, and getting a branded image, and using high quality Melbourne signage to broadcast that image to the city is even more important. Make sure that you have the best signage possible, and the most extensive range possible to ensure the widest reach.

signs come in all sorts of sizes and styles. There is a range of signage options to suit any and every home or small business, including:

  • Banners (teardrop, feather, pop up, pull down etc)
  • Corporate logo signs, including shop fronts
  • 3D signage
  • Vehicle signage
  • Window Frosting

Whatever it is that you or your business needs, you will be able to find it with the professional help of Melbourne’s vinyl experts.

Safety and security tips for small businesses

wall safe
wall safe

Preventing loss and criminal activity is important to any small business; you can help prevent that with a series of security steps.

Keeping your building or store safe is paramount for any small business owner, which is why it’s important to keep up to date on the latest security features and technology. There are a number of precautions that any small businesses owner can take to mitigate their risk of break ins, theft, and destruction, including surveillance cameras and CCTV.

Surveillance is a major part of any safety precautions taken by a business. Buying or hiring professional quality CCTV systems is a great deterrent for criminals, and can help to keep your premises safe from break ins.

Loss prevention is also a big part of security services for small businesses; lock and key systems, as well as secure home and office safes can all help prevent loss of merchandise, goods, and cash from the premises. Look for the finest wall safes Melbourne has to offer, from a trusted and respected security company.

There are a range of practices and techniques that need to be implemented within the hierarchy of small businesses, to ensure correct procedures are carried out. Handling money, as well as merchandise always carries risks, and you can help reduce those risk by implementing proper procedures, known to all staff.

business documents, especially irreplaceable, or highly valuable ones, need to be kept absolutely safe at all times. Buying a high quality document and data safe in Melbourne, especially fire resistant safes, can help your business stay safe in an emergency situation.

The Argo was a mess when I first got it, now it’s a flying mess

I found the Argo in a market in Lower City while I was buying limes. I buy them in bulk because I hate to buy limes. I love lime,s but the process of buying them just creeps me out. Shut up, I know it’s weird, you don’t have to point that out! Anyway, back to the story. It was there because the last owners had decided that it was better to completely get rid of it than to even try to clean it. I didn’t know this at the time. I will back up a bit and talk to you about getting this ship.

I was in a weird place at this time. My wife had just left me (for none other than Ricardo Mon Valen, famous air guitarist) and I was out of a job. I knew I wanted my own ship but no one would comission one to me, not after what happened on Mount Gallard. I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about that yet, but suffice to say i was out of luck and had not much to do. This was when I came across the first E-Class Explorer I had seen since about 1030. They were decommissioned because they were so big, and to asd efficient as the F-Class Explorers. They got phased out and I hadn’t seen them in ages. I have such a soft spot for them naf I had to buy then and there. The one thing that got me suspicious about it though was the fact that they would not let me inside to see it. It turns out that there was a really good reason for that and it involved having to get all of the rubbish removal and garden waste Canberra has to offer.

I found, when I managed to get open the door (after paying for it of course), that the whole cargo hold was filled to the brim with rubbish. It’s almost like hard rubbish collection Canberra hadn’t existed in that time.  it seems that the old owners had been something of the highest magnitude of hoarders. There were correspondence from about 1035 in there, from people that I had never heard of. It was quite crazy. Jonathan and I had to clean the whole thing out ourselves. I even found a cat in there, by the eastern wing, just chowing down on this huge pile of food that was leftover. The cat was fine; not a scratch or a mark on him. In fact he was a little too healthy. I gave him to my local vet/acupuncturist/herbalist and he said that the cat as special. I was pretty messed up with cleaning fumes at the time, so I don’t really remember why the cat was special. In any case, we kept the cat for a while and we called up the finest rubbish removal Canberra has ever seen. The funny thing is that all of the junk we found there was worth enough to pay for the whole ship as well as the repairs!

I hope that Emily doesn’t think that she needs to look nice, she always looks nice

I need to get to the beauty parlour. I don’t know if that’s what the kids are calling it these days, but back when I was growing up, we would call it that so that is what I am going to call it right now. I think that she will be at one of the beauty salons Perth has to offer because I heard her talking to Jess about how she wants to look beautiful for me tonight because she has looked terrible because we’ve been off world for so long. She does to look terrible and I have been thinking, and for a long time now, that she is the most beautiful creature that I have ever met.

I want to find her right now and talk to her and tell her that she doesn’t need to change at all. I need to tell her that she is perfect just the way she is and that she can look like a truck and I will still love her with all of my hear.t the real reason that I want to go down to the beauty parlour is because I want to ask her something. I want to ask her the most important question of my life and I hope that she will say yes and I hope that she will be mine for the rest of my life and that I can think  back on this day in 50 years’ time and think that this was the night that everything changed. I hope that I can look back on this fine evening inside the best salon for facials Perth has got, and I will find myself being the bravest I have ever been. I might even go and get myself looked over once or twice so that i can look my best for her.

In any case, I can not wait for much longer and I need to ask her this question as soon as I can find her. Wish me luck and I will come back with the most beautiful fiancee in the world, and not just because she went to the salon to look good, but because she is mine and I am hers.

Obviously: What food can we fit into toolboxes?

Welcome back to another edition of “Obviously” with me, Tom. I think that this is a really good topic to talk about because we almost all have cars. I know in this day and age, they have never been more prevalent and more important in our day to day lives as well as our jobs, our families and our livelihoods. I think it is only fitting that I talk about cars, and utes ,and jeeps and toolboxes that go on cars and utes and jeeps. They are the staple of every tradesman and even modern city men and women are finding that the humble briefcase is no match for the raw power and security of keeping all of your documents inside of your toolbox. Aluminium toolboxes are the backbone of ute modification and that is what i wanted to talk to you about now.

I wanted to talk about the common foods that you will run into around toolboxes ,especially ute toolboxes and the sorts of foods that can fit into them. Obviously, anything that can be small enough. all sorts of fruits would be a really good choice if anyone ever ate fruit. It’s the 21st century, who eats fruit anymore? Answer: nobody, that’s who. I don’t care if you are the King of Malaysia, you will not eat fruit all the time, especially if you are ina ute. So, that leaves us with other things. Steaks can most certainly fit in there, and in fact, if you can get it cold enough, you might be able to use your toolbox as a very effective icebox, or a freezer. That is a big if because I have no idea how you would be able to get it that cold, consistently.

Fixes service bodies are a perfect way to hold the rest of your food. Biscuits and crackers of all sorts can be wedged into all sorts of places, and no one hates to have some extra cheese under the grill, maybe a little bit warm and melty. We all know where to hide and store your food arounds a ute and I am really glad that I was able to help out today. Obviously, I’m Tom, and this is obviously the end of the article. Get yourselves utes and get modifications to them, of the professional-grade kind.

Heaters and Global Warming

Global Warming

Do heating systems contribute to global warming?

There is very little evidence to suggest that they do- after all, the amount of heat they produce is harmless, disperses quickly and could not possibly aid in heating the entire planet.

But a certain sect, almost religious in their zeal, has come to the forefront of public debate, claiming that artificial heating techniques are having a significant impact on the Earth and they must be stopped.

The sect, referring to themselves as LOAH (League Opposing Artificial Heating), insists that scientific evidence points towards ducted gas heating as a major cause of pollution worldwide. LOAH is also an advocate for wood fires, which they claim are the only true method of heating.

However, tests have shown that fumes released from burning wood are at least 70% more dangerous than those emitted by more modern gas heaters, as well as being far less sustainable.

“They’re claiming to be for the trees,” says Helen Barker, global warming expert and international speaker, “But what they are blind to is their method’s effect on trees. Here in Brisbane, ducted heating is completely safe and reliable. Radiators, fan heaters and bar heaters are all certified and do not release anything that would harm the environment.”

LOAH also argue for several other, related causes, such as the elimination of power plants, deforestation and the release of zoo animals.

Previously unheard of, they gained their reputation on the world after a dangerous stunt from their leader, Patrick Engleby, who camped on the side of the Hoover Dam in a lobster outfit for four days, supposedly in protest of the treatment of animals in seafood restaurants.

Log #7: A Beautiful Spliced-Mind

Brain Scan

Even without Insectra cells, my intellect is second to none.

Log #7 of the airship Melbourne.

I’ve designed a program that will insert the date, time and flight details in automatically, so there is no need to state them here. Most of the crew don’t realise the importance of them anyway, and they’d only get them wrong.

Klein Schafer reporting, chief scientific officer and resident genius. I say this without a hint of pride, as it so happens to be a fact rather than a simple title.

I have chosen to dedicate this particular log to my achievements thus far, which have been mixed. Even a mind as brilliant as my own has trouble deciphering Insectra cells- it is an entirely new branch of science. However, I revel in the challenge. Fixing the Melbourne’s air conditioning is simply not enough for my insatiable intellect.

Experiments are progressing well, despite the reluctance of my test subjects (the crew). Honestly, I would inject myself with as many cells as necessary, but the captain says I’ve had enough. The usual outward signs of splicing include luminous irises, discoloured veins and occasionally skin changes with mood, amongst a host of others, but I may have gone slightly too far.

I looked in the mirror this morning and found that my pupils had vanished, and I was beginning to grow small horns on my head. Naturally, I was delighted that the cells were taking to their new host, but my colleagues seem to find my changing appearance disturbing.

In any case, I have made steady progress in helping them to develop their splice-abilities; even young Lloyd, who had an unfortunate turn (I heard about the slime beast- such a valuable specimen, ruined!), has taken to his cells after his unexpected splicing. I confirmed this by observing his sleeping patterns and taking samples. What the boy does not know cannot hurt him.

Thanks to the cells I injected into my frontal lobe, my intelligence grows daily, though so does my hunger for raw meat- I shall have to look into this further. If my brain and digestive system do not agree, this could cause problems.

In the meantime, I must continue to submit my proposal to the captain for permission to experiment directly on the Melbourne. Such a valuable subject, all around us! But I have been forbidden.

Science will prevail! I will continue to develop the crew’s splice-abilities, as per my regulations. But what I do when off-duty is another matter. My spliced-brain hungers for knowledge. It must be sated.

Unfortunately, I am now being called upon for air conditioning repairs yet again. This ship is so very temperamental.

Klein Schafer, logging out.

Log #6: Single Mum (with superpowers)

Wedding Invitation
Wedding Invitation

Wedding, or slime beast? Tough choice.

Log #6 of the airship Melbourne.

This is Thalia Reeve, chief medical officer (only medical officer, actually).

I’m missing my son’s birthday to be here. Sorry to get all personal, but I can’t help being slightly bitter. When I volunteered to be spliced, I was desperate. They promised that Jason would have a future if I helped, them, so…

Um, the captain says I’m not supposed to be this candid. Well, I wouldn’t be like this if they didn’t deliver our mail right to our door. I’m holding a party invitation to my own son’s birthday, and that’s going to make any mother feel slightly inadequate.

(okay, fine!)

Jason is in a private school, making friends, having the best education he could ever hope for. Fine.

And here I am, on a living ship trying to keep this crew together, in a very literal sense. I suppose it helps that I can bond with spliced cells and speed up the healing process by some massive amount. A factor of something. I’m not the scientist here.

Anyway, it still creeps me out, especially since I’ve spent most of my time here re-attaching limbs and healing gaping wounds. But I’m happy to help.

I even found out the other day that I can help out in the fighting as well. I’ve never been a fighter, in any sense. Maybe to protect my son I could turn into a raging war machine, but otherwise…well, not so much. Single mum superpowers don’t extend to ninja skills.

But then, the other day…well, I’m not sure who gave you the last log. Let me check.


It seems you know about Lloyd. He lay in the medical bay for days, barely breathing. Then he started to convulse. Fortunately I was there, but it was terrifying- most of the crew were out on a mission, and it looked like Lloyd’s cells were trying to escape. All my healing was useless. Then the cells actually climbed out of his body and formed this horrible slime creature, like something you’d see in a cheesy horror film. I was backed up against the wall, petrified. Then it went after him. This helpless boy, and it looked like it wanted to swallow him whole.

It was then that I realised that Lloyd reminded me so much of Jason, if Jason was a few years older. Of course, mother instincts kicked in. I hardly remember what happened, but next thing I knew I’d shoved my hands into the slime and kicked my splice-ability into high gear. There was probably some screaming, I can’t quite remember. And it felt like my hands were burning off. But just as I felt like I was about to go up in flames, the thing dissolved. I’d kind of…healed it to death.

We later found out that Lloyd’s body wasn’t yet ready for splicing- I guess that’s why we’re hand-picked for this mission. But his body is adapted, and free of mind-controlling slime beasts.

Jason probably won’t believe me when I tell him. Whenever it is that we’ll see each other.

Oh, and I’ve just discovered a wedding invitation in my mail pile. That’ll be an awkward RSVP.

Thalia Reeve, signing off.

In the event of a pool party, be sure to bring your bathers, and a pool fence if you have one

aluminium pool fencing
aluminium pool fencing

I need to put safety first in this new pool, and the fence, and I think and the Argo will be the better for it.

We are in need of a few things for the Argo. I love this ship to pieces but we really got hammered the other day when we were stripped of parties. That is a whole topic in and of itself, but I do not really have time to go into the how and why we lost about 90% of the things inside the Arog. The point is that we did and now we are just trying to piece ourselves back together. I guess it is a metaphor for trying to piece of hearts and souls back after what happened to Jonathan. I don’t want to talk about it right no,w so I will go on to the topic of the day; I wanted to talk to you about all of the pools that we were looking at to get in the Argo. I think that we have found the one that we want, and now it’s just a matter of getting it into the ship.

We are going to do a few things differently in this pool. I think that the first thing we need to look at is the pool fence. I think that the pool is one of the biggest attractions of the Argo, especially when we are transporting, or trying to transport, the live passengers. I think that safety should be our number one concern when it comes to the pool and as such, the finest and safest glass pool fencing Melbourne has to offer will soon be lining the pool of the cargo bay.

We are using the end cargo bay as the spot to put the pool in because we do not need it. The E-Class EXplorers are already so big and hard to maintain. Another cargo hold will be too much hassle for not enough reward. I know, in my gut and m bones, that we will be able to get a lot of reward from the aluminium pool fencing. I know that all of us, and all of our guests, will be talking about the pool in the Argo for years to come,. if it’s done right, and done safely.

If I don’t do something now, we are not going to make it; we need to get the heaters back online

heating repairs
heating repairs

Once we hit the Deep, those who can not get the heating into their room, will freeze in five hours. Drama!!!

I need to get hold of the outside world but I don’t think that we have any way to do that. I am stuck in the botany area of the ship and there is nowhere I can go. In the middle of the attack, I was called down to fix up the breaking O2 supply because we had started leaking. I was able to isolate and cut off the offending area, but it does mean that the Argo is now down to about 60% of its fuel capacity. This is not great, but we can survive for a little while at this level. The thing that really troubles me has not happened yet but will happen when we go into the Deep.

When we go into the Deep, we will be making full use of the Alcubierre drive that all starships have installed (I do not know your level of interstellar travel or of starship design so I will try to be all encompassing). Basically, because we will be going at such high speeds, in the middle of the deepest parts of space, we are going to be losing so much heat, just be being. We will be losing a lot, which is why we need to get it back up in most areas of the ship, and heating systems are a great way to do that. There was a problem when we got attacked; as far as I could tell, the heating in the ducts is only able to extend to about half of the rooms, those in the back half of the ship. The rest are going to freeze to death at about the 5 hour mark of the journey into the Deep. This Is why we need to get hold of Melbourne’s heating repairs company before we go into the Deep. Once we do, we will be out of communication with everyone that is not on board the ship (we will also be losing heat like crazy as well as be out of gravity,  but that is just a fun side note).

I need to talk to whoever is in the control room and get them to do what they can to fix the leak and I needed to get the Comms person (whoever is there) to call out to the ducted heating company and see if they can help us. We are in dire straits here people; let’s do this thing. I’ll let you all know how it goes next time.